On the morning of Tuesday, March 24, 2009, our good friend Tom Donfrio passed from this world after a year-long struggle with cancer. He leaves behind Amy, his wife of 29 years, his daughter Lindsey, 20, his family, and of course us, his many friends.This web site is a labor of love by Tom's friends and family, a place to remember Tom, the loving husband and father, the educator, the musician, the mischievous prankster, the all-around great guy.
Soon we'll post information about funeral arrangements and other such details, [UPDATE: See the post below for this information.] so you can check back here if you're interested in that. We hope you'll take a moment to leave a greeting or a farewell or a remembrance on this site. You can do this simply by leaving a comment on any post you see here. If you decide you'd like to write something more elaborate, or if you'd like to include pictures, email us and we will send you a password so you can post your thoughts.
[UPDATE: Tom's family and hundreds of his friends are reading this. You're invited to share your thoughts and memories about Tommy on any of the posts you see here. Simply click on the word "COMMENTS" at the bottom of a post, and write something in the window that opens. While you're there you can read the comments of others.]
28 comments:
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Thanks Larry for pulling this together.
I feel so lucky and truly blessed to have had a wonderful working relationship with Tommy. He was always honest, a man of integrity and an extraordinary person that has made our world a better place for all. I hope and pray that one day my own son will grow up to be the man you were. You have rocked my world and know that upon your arrival into heaven that you’re rocking on…. Love, Ann Kantor
I guess God needed a drummer! Thanks for your friendship, Tommy. Your integrity, dignity; commitment to children...of all ages! Thank you for your smile. Your laugh. Lunch.
You will be missed. I thank you for making my personal and professional life that much more enjoyable! You really are "Juan" in a million!
I love you, Tom
Randy
" I thought of you with love today
but that is nothing new
I thought about you yesterday
and days before that, too
I think of you in silence
I often speak your name
All I have are memories
and your picture in a frame
Your memory is my keepsake
with which I'll never part
God has you in His keeping
I have you in my heart"
(Author Unknown)
Truly a man endowed with much talent from God who used it to entertain and make people smile. Tommy you always lit up the stage for the shows you were in at Stagelight, but must of all your kind words and thoughtfulness with the backstage crew made you the consumate professional. I am glad I got to meet you and spend time with you however briefly it was my brother.
"Nature Boy" tells us that the greatest thing we'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return; our Tommy had learned that perfectly.
More Love,
Aunt Marie
Tommy, going back to the days at Swiss Park seeing you guys up on stage was soooo much fun! Remember you guys got the biggest kick at seeing Jimmy dressed up as Reginald "Denty". Through the years getting to know you and your prescious family; Karen & Gary, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sharing your Tommy with us! Even going to lake Powell together, remember "Italians don't camp"! We had so many awesome times together, but it's not over, we will be together again. Amy, Lindsey, we love you!
God's Speed,
Jimmy, Gerry, Chris & Mike Roy
I was fortunate to have had many interactions with Mr. Donfrio at Montebello Unified School District. He always had a smile or on the phone was always so pleasant.
I ran into Mr. Donfrio in February 2009 at the Ruby L. Golleher Oncology Center while I was also going for radiation treatments.
Mr. Donfrio had a smile and words of encouragement for me. I sat with him on several occasions to talk with him. I told him I would pray for him that God would give him strength and peace.
He wanted to make sure my boss and co-workers were caring and understanding of what I was going through. He also inquired about my son Ernie because he had worked for him on occasions at Joseph Gascon Elementary.
Mr. Donfrio is going to be greatly missed by me and by the large community of people that have come in contact with him.
My prayers are with his wife Amy, daughter Lindsey and all of the extended family. May God give you strength and peace and know that Mr. Donfrio is looking down at us and telling us to “Smile and be grateful”.
I knew Tom Donfrio professionally and actually had few contacts with him. Friendly and professional are easy words to use, but I always had the feeling that he really cared AND that he truly wanted to help and do a good job. He really wanted to help. He really did.
The following Lennon/McCartney song has been playing in my head ever since I heard about Heaven's newest angel, our dear friend Tommy. He is surely our loss but Heaven's gain.
"There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more."
In our lives, we loved you so ...
Thanks to Amy, Lindsey, and the whole Donfrio/Cheap Sax family for sharing Tommy with so many of us!
Tommy is truly one-of-a-kind and it was such a privilege to have known this unforgettable man.
He always had a most sincere way about him with a smile, a hug, and the talent to light up and liven-up a room (or stage) full of people.
I don't know what else to say but that Tommy was a true "Ray of Sunshine" and we miss him already.
My best wishes to my friend Amy, Lindsey, and all of Tommy's extended family and friends.
With huggs,
"Sax Kitten"
Robbie Brady
I first met Mr. Donfrio while working at Joe Gascon Elementary in 2000. He was always a nice, warm, approachable, man. Naturally, I was happy when I found out that he was going to be overseeing our particular department. I knew that we would be in good hands. The last time I was fortunate enough to see him was at a training about two months ago. As usual, he had a great personality and outgoing attitude. He listened to our concerns and took a genuine interest in our work. It's very hard for me to fathom that he was very sick at the time. It is rare for a man to be so positive and cheerful in the face of adversity, but Mr. Donfrio was special. Mr. Donfrio you left such a lasting impression on me and so many other people, you will be very missed. My condolences to his wife and daughter. My family is praying for you. God Bless.
Tom and I have been friend since elementary school "Grandview" in the city of Monterey Park,CA. We went to Schurr Jr. High and then we both went to Montebello HS. Tom has always been a person I can truly say was a pleasure to be around. He always had a smile on his cute face and was always willing to help people. I am a better person today, because Tom was my friend.
And I know Tom is in Heaven, because our Lord want people of Tom's character, and maybe they also need a drummer!!!!
Tom may the Lord always be with you and your family. I just pray and hope we can All met in heaven one day.
Your faithful friend,
Richie Pena
MHS Class 1970
I'm very saddened to hear that Tom has passed from this world into the next. My prayers and sympathy are with his friends and family.
I met Tom many, many years ago when he was the drummer in a band named "Higher Ground." My late husband, Dave de Zara, played bass in that band and I have many cherished memories from that time. In 1979 the band went to Hawaii for 3 months and I was fortunate enough to go for a visit. I will never forget Tom, sitting on Sunset Beach, enjoying the sun and making friends with whoever happened to be there that day. He was friendly, outgoing and somewhat adventurous back then.
Amy and Lindsey, I know the sadness you are feeling at this time. You will be in my prayers and thoughts.
Lydia de Zara
Covina, CA
My name is Misty Boudreau. I knew Tommy (& Ronnie) since I was a baby...he and Ronnie played softball with my Dad (Don Croll) for what felt like forever. I am so sad to see this, you will be missed greatly.
RIP Tommy.
Amy and Lindsey, I am so sorry to hear about Tommy. I know that he has been very sick. Whenever I visited the Cahills in CA, we saw you guys, and Tommy was always so much fun! He has left the world better than when he came into it, and that's what his legacy will be. Many prayers to you both and God Bless.
Kathy Chiodo
Oh Mr. DonFrio, How sad that you have passed away! I met you at Joseph Gascon as I was one of the Adult Education Teachers, teaching Parent Ed., and Pre-school Class, We would discuss, themes,sessions, and lesson programs, even though you were not my only principal, You did not have to be as kind, friendly YOU, were a great supporter, backing me up, and helping me! I was always grateful to you! I had always remembered you as a very supportive principal, (even though many years have gone by) MAY YOU ALWAYS REST IN PEACE! Sincerely,
Graciela Valenzuela MUSD (Adult Educator)
I grew up with Tom. I mean, I was a little kid growing up in the 70's with mom, dad, mckernan, jan, jenn, greg, and so many more. Those experiences are a dream that I live every day. Although I have only seen Mr. Donfrio in a professional setting during the past few years, when we shook hands, he had the same sparkle in his eye. The last time I saw him was on a firetruck dressed in a santa suit, waving to the kids. It reminded me of the time many years ago at jan's, when Tom was dressed as a snowman, playing air guitar to CCR. When I was walking my class though the santa reception line, I asked "santa" if he had ever been a snowman. He retorted, "Yes, I was Born on the Bayou!" You will be missed, thanks
So what can I say about Tommy, a friend who has been so much a part of my life that I can’t believe he’s not just standing over there somewhere… grinning? As Phil said, we all “grew up” together…Jenn, Greg, Phil, Sue, Alex, Paul, Lynne, Chris. Tommy was only twenty-four-ish when we met. In 1978, we became known to one another and our friends as Juanita y Tomás after Montebello USD sent us to Cuernavaca, Morelos/ Mexico for six weeks to become bilingual teachers. There, we committed ourselves to speaking Spanish-only for the entire time, which we did. And, de vez y adelante, as only Tommy could do, I always saw that corazón de Mexico in his smiley/squinty eyes each time we met for the next 31 years. . I’ll always remember Tommy & Amy’s wedding day. I’ll always remember all those Los Nones, Rev, Balding Brothers, Rubber Soul, & Cheap Sax concerts. It’s true that as our lives changed and grew over the years, we saw one another less. So I’m thankful that I talked to both Tommy and Amy last month at Lynne’s wedding party. I’m so glad that we looked straight at one another and spoke assuringly that in some way, everything would be okay. We’d all still be there for one another…somehow. Now…all I can say is that in my mind and heart, Tommy will always be “The Measure of a Man.”
Jan Montes
To my best friend of 16 years Tommy, a friend of unconditional friendship, love, compassion and lots of smiles. I was thinking about you the other day and a song came to my mind that reminded me of you, "The Wind Beneath my Wings by Bette Midler", this song truly represents the type of person you were. Always there for anyone and everyone with no strings attached. I am very happy that all of my friends got to know my best friend Tommy, especially Jim.
I'm going to miss my best friend Tommy and "Joe Cocker", there is no one who could animate Joe Cocker any better than you!!and i believe Joe Cocker would be very impressed!!
I write this to you Tommy with a heavy and sad heart, the world will be very different now without you in it. Your smiles and wonderful conversations will be truly missed.
Amy, Lindsey and Ronnie, all of my love, compassion and friendship to all of you, i'll be there always if and when needed.
Love,
Debbie Vickroy (Welch)
Mr. Donfrio was such a blessing and encouragement to me. I first met him when I subbed on the last day of school. Cheap Sax played for the staff and kids. We talked oldies after the performance.
Mr. Donfrio was a huge help as I pursued my credential, even approving me to teach Summer School one year.
We always managed to talk music. He'd tell me the latest with the band. I wish I could have seen him perform one more time.
I didn't know Mr. Donfrio was ill and was heartbroken when I heard the news.
I didn't know him super well, but well enough to know that I couldn't imagine one person who would dislike this man. He was always friendly, courteous, and professional. I will miss him. MUSD will miss him.
God bless you, Mr. Donfrio.
God bless your family and friends.
Doug Van Tuyl
(Mr. Van)
Bell Gardens High School
We first met Tommy at Colmar Elem. in the 70a when our children, who are now in their 40s, first started school. We met him as a teacher and later developed a very warm friendship with him. Who can forget "The Gong Show!" As our careers moved on, we did not see each other as often, but when we did, we would always pick up where we left off. Tommy was always the same, a true friend with an ever bright smile on his face! I last saw him at the D.O. a couple of months ago and although I could see that he was very sick, he still maintained his friendly disposition and optimism. Our family will truly miss him.... Our thoughts and prayers go to Amy and Lindsey.
I'm Anthony Avina and am a faculty member at Cal Poly Pomona. Tommy was my contact with Montebello Unified and one cannot think of a better ambassador. He helped put together a three year series of classes in Montebello for aspiring administrators. A great number of the administrators were students in the Program. You could ask anything of Tommy and he would come through. My fondest memory is of meeting him and a bunch of the administrators for lunch in Montebello. He seemed to know them all and never led us astray when it came to eating.
I'm so deeply shocked and had no idea he was ill. I know that the good Lord is enjoying having him as His ambassador. I know we sure did. My sympathies to his family. God bless them all.
After uploading some pictures to my face book last night I was messaged with the sad news that my favorite teacher Mr. Donfrio had passed. I was in his Kindergarten class at Colmar in 1978. I remember the special chair that a student would get to sit in while he would play his guitar and we would all sing the Little Green Frog Song to them. Then you'd get a dab of "perfume" from the little frog bottle. I sang in the Colmar Choir that he directed also. I still remember the songs we learned and especially when he picked me to sing Simon's part in the Chipmunk's Christmas Song. As a Senior at Bell Gardens High School in 1991 I was sitting in Mr. Percy's class when a few people from the district came in. We saw each other at the same time and he threw his arms up and said "Nikki!" he remembered me even though it had been about 7 or 8 years since we had seen one another.
I always loved him when I was a little girl. He will always have a special place in my heart.
Sadly I have just randomly stumbled upon this page only to discover that my beloved kindergarden teacher has passed on. I started kindergarden in 1977.He was my first teacher, the most influential instructor a 5 year old could ever have. I was fortunate to have such a great educator as a teacher. Just this week my family and I were quoting something he used to say to my mother every morning when she would drop me off at school---"Mrs. Sanchez your hair looks great." It was funny because she had a 70's perm (totally in) and she never combed it in the morning because we were always running late. The funniest part was that her hair looked just like his...pooffy afro funny! I remember his blue VW Van and his Hippy relaxed way. He was my first introduction to music and to "time-outs at the table w/your head down." Even at that he was tactful and kind. About 8-10 years ago I ran into him not realizing he was now a principal at another school and was tremendously flattered because when I told him my name and that he had been my kindergarden teacher he litterally pulled out an album and showed me my class picture. He really did care about the kids. That is a very special moment that I will remember forever... He offered me a job and said, "Wouldn't it be great to teach for the teacher that taught you?" I regret not taking him up on that! He'll be in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Sandra Sanchez
sleegoose@yahoo.com
friendsoftom.blogspot.com; You saved my day again.
Hail the Balding Brothers, I new him for a second... Hope things are well Paul, Tim
Hail the Balding Brothers, I new him for a second... Hope things are well Paul, Tim
Wow...this is extraordinarily bizarre. I was a student at Gascon from 200-2004 or so while Mr. Donfrio was our principle. Funny he came to mind and funnier that the picture of him with the red shirt was the time he brought his band to play at our school. From what I remember it was awesome. Wow, I’m going down memory lane right now. I have a picture of myself, my mother, teacher and Mr. Donfrio where I am being awarded student of the month. Time sure flies by. After him, I believe Ms. Verduzco became principle and boy did we all freaken hate her. Ahah We all wanted Mr. Donfrio back. I laugh now. I hope he’s in a better place that man. Anywho, funny, you never who will cross your mind at any point in your life.
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